No matter how hard I try, some people won’t stay in touch.
You are best friends, colleagues, working together day after day. Having a laugh, talking about your families, interests, life. Having beers, making plans, for months, years.
Then a change occurs. Change of job, home, location. You don’t see each other that often or even at all. But you continue with the emails, texts, messages. Then they stop, fade out. No replies are forthcoming. What happened? No response.
You give it some time then try again. Nothing. Some more time. Still nothing.
Was it something you did or said? Something someone else said? You ruminate, you play out scenarios. Still nothing.
It’s sad but some connections are not forever and through no fault of your own they stop. That’s life. Save your energy for those that want to keep in touch, to be friends, to hear from you.
For the rest. Let them go.
Author: Dave VR
A lack of time
Having a lack of time. It sounds weird coming out of my mouth. Stating an amount of something that I don’t have. A lack thereof.
I started a new job. The hours are long but the money is good. I’m always busy. Too busy. Plus there’s the commute. The result? Less time with my family. Less time to work on my own jobs. Less time for the fun stuff. Less time to sleep.
My to-do list keeps growing and I always feel tired. You’ll get used to it, they say. You’ll find your groove and things will settle. It’s been over a month and I’m still tired, still looking for my groove.
I just want to sit in my garden with a good book and a cold drink or spend time with my family. Instead I continue to leave early, return late, and catch up on sleep at the weekend. There’s more to life than work.
Maybe next time I’ll negotiate less hours. More balance. Maybe.
People counting down to retirement
I’ve worked in many places and on a few occasions I’ve come across this phenomenon: people counting down to retirement.
The first time was during my university days. A neighbour gave me a lift one time as I was late for my bus. He told me how he was retiring in six months. He and his wife had been saving up for a long cruise and putting together a bucket list. About two weeks into his retirement he died of a brain aneurysm.
The second time was early on in my professional career. I met a guy who was divorced and was due to retire in two years time. He had a spreadsheet with all his plans on it. The main focus appeared to be planning a train set that would run throughout the entirety of his home. His planning was very detailed. That’s all he wanted to do after giving up work; to play with model trains all day long every day.
A year ago I was working with someone who even went as far as having a whiteboard above his desk with a large number written on it in marker pen. It was the number of working days until he retired. He would update it daily so all could see it as they walked by.
Today I find myself in a new role working alongside yet another counter. This time it’s a year and a half to go to their retirement. He’s planning everything he will do when he will no longer be working, right down to the smallest detail.
What I’ve learned from all these encounters is that these individuals do not love their work. They are always looking to the future. A future that is not guaranteed. If they get there it may not be all they imagined it would be.
If you hate your work and dream of retirement, change your work. Enjoy the present as the future is not guaranteed.
Rewatching old shows
I have access to multiple streaming services and I have a pile of Blu rays I could watch, yet despite all that I often find myself rewatching old shows. Shows that I’ve watched several times before, from start to finish. Shows with multiple seasons. Shows where I know the storylines and characters like I know my friends. Some feel like old friends.
I think I rewatch them partly because they are entertaining, obviously, but also because the story, characters, and ambience of the show is a known entity and is often what I need at that point in time.
So despite there being a lot of new shows I could be watching, on occasion I like to fall back on the well worn classics.
Do you have a go-to show?
Being remembered
There is this human obsession with being remembered. Leaving a legacy behind so that you are remembered by those still living.
Why?
If you think about it, you don’t really care because you will no longer be here. It’s not as if being remembered keeps you alive in some way. A memory yes, but not one you can take part in. Yet so many of us become obsessed with leaving a legacy that will make people recall that we existed, once.
Why not just enjoy the life you have and not worry what other people think? Live your best life. Travel, have fun, meet new people, enjoy the now. Not worry about making sure people remember you when You’ve gone. Who really cares? Only you care that you existed. Those who loved you will miss you but that fades after a few generations when the stories and photos fade. Everyone is forgotten eventually.
So live your best life and Don’t worry about legacy.
Daisy-chaining AI
I heard about this guy who was daisy-chaining AI. He was using one AI to refine prompts for another, then feeding the results into another AI for analysis and further refinement until he had a prompt that perfectly gave him the results he wanted.
I started digging around YouTube and found other instances of this practice. Someone was using ChatGPT to refine prompts for image and video generating AIs, then feeding the output into a prompt analysis tool for further refinement before feeding back into the image and video generators. It was a cyclic process that they kept at until they had something that looked very real.
The prompts were really long and descriptive. Naming the equipment, context, and styles in great detail. Whereas the prompts I’ve used to date contain less than thirty words, some of these prompts would fill the first chapter of most books. For a human to create these prompts would take a long time, but using AI it was taking minutes.
I hadn’t thought of using AI with AI.
Adventure is calling
Looking out to sea watching the cargo ships come and go I think back to the many ships I have sailed on. Travelling from port to port enjoying both the journey and the anticipation of the destination. With each new country came sights and sounds, places to explore, culture and communities to immerse yourself in, food and drink to savour, new people to meet.
The thrill of adventure. Never knowing what’s around the corner or over the next hill. Castles and historic houses, kingdoms of old, deserts, mountains, rivers, and beautiful beaches. Music, laughter, walks, exploring. Sleeping under the stars, swimming in lagoons, sailing through swamps and bayous.
Adventure is calling.
My garden is me
You can tell a lot about a person from how their garden looks. If it looks unkempt, neglected, with weeds growing everywhere, it can be a sign of how they treat or view themself.
Discarded objects and general untidiness may indicate an untidy mind. Long grass, overgrown shrubs, and weeds between paving stones, could be a sign of laziness. Whereas a neatly trimmed lawn, tidy borders, and containers and hanging baskets all colour coordinated and in their place could be a sign of an organised mind, or someone with a lot of time on their hands.
You can tell a lot about a person from how their garden looks.
Extreme minimalism
I read an article about hoarding and how it can reach a point where a person’s home becomes so full of stuff that they cannot move. It’s classed as a disease.
This got me thinking about the opposite of hoarding: minimalism. The art of Reducing what you have to the minimum amount that you need. In my case this often becomes extreme minimalism.
I love tidying and organising, but sometimes it can get to a point where I am throwing away stuff that I might need in the future. I’ve even thrown, or given away items that I later regret getting shot of. Buying replacements or copies at a later date. Is this too a disease?
I hate clutter and feel the urge to tidy, to organise, to neaten and arrange. A clear area is calming. Clutter free, organised, everything in its place. Each item with a purpose, a need, a location.
Extreme minimalism.
AI allows you to release your inner diva
You can’t sing. You can’t play any musical instrument. Yet you know there’s a great song inside you just waiting to get out.
Cue AI. Giving you the ability to make great music even if you can’t sing or play an instrument. Just tell it what you want to create then refine refine refine until it matches what’s in your head.
AI: the new lip sync and air guitar hero x10.
Release your inner diva.