The older I get the more funerals I seem to attend. Relations, friends. Cancer rather than old age.
More each year.
I can’t remember the last wedding I went to. The young ones seem to be doing the registries rather than large expensive gatherings. Maybe they have their priorities right: plan for the future rather than celebrate today. Save for a house.
I own one suit: Black. With a white shirt and black tie. It comes out of dusty hibernation for funerals. I dislike wearing it as it reminds me that someone has passed. It’s starting to look worn yet I can’t bring myself to buy a new one as it signifies an expectancy of more funerals.
Category: life
Richard
I decided to pay a visit to an old friend that I hadn’t seen in a while. His son answered the door. Apparently he had fallen down the stairs some weeks back and is now in a home in the north of the county. He also has dementia.
On my very first day in my career as a professional tester I was given a tour of the offices by a lady who introduced me to Richard as someone who would act as my mentor. I was given a seat next to him and told that he would show me the ropes. She then left and I turned to Richard and asked “So what are we doing?”. “I haven’t a f’ing clue” was his response. We’ve been friends ever since.
Many years later after he retired we would meet up regularly for beers and chat about anything and everything. Others would join us over the years and invariably move on. Then around several years ago he would arrange beers and wouldn’t turn up. This happened several times. Each time he claimed to have just forgotten. Months later I saw him walking his dog. I said hi and he asked who I was. Then he appeared to recognise me and claimed to have been pulling my leg, but I wasn’t really sure.
We lost touch again and I was passing his house so figured I’d call in. I was saddened to hear that he was now in a home and that he had dementia, but in the back of my mind I had guessed what was happening. His son assured me though that I should visit and he was confident he would know who I was having known me for so long.
An hour later I pulled out my phone and looked up the home and decided to call. A lady confirmed he was there and said she’d put him on. I heard her mention my name to him and him replying “I can’t think who that is” in a frail voice. He came on the phone and after several references to past events he knew who I was and we were chatting like old friends. But every so often he would start to mumble and get distracted by something. He would then forget who he was talking to and I’d have to trigger some memories to bring him back, but briefly, he came and went throughout the conversation.
Afterwards I just sat and thought about how sad it was to lose yourself like that. It’s clear that the Richard I knew is slowly fading. I’m not even sure he’ll remember me if he saw me in person. I guess I’ll find out as I plan on paying him a visit soon.
Disposable culture
It’s mad that we have countries that can’t agree on how to tackle climate change and that we live in such a disposable culture. For example I have a device that I can’t charge because the charging cable is broken. I can’t fix it because the manufacturer has designed it as a disposable product in that it is completely sealed and tamper proof. I’ve searched on-line for a replacement charger and the cheapest I can find is 19.99 not including delivery. However, for 16.99 I can buy the device again with a charger.
Why would you pay more for less? I just want one part, not a whole new set! Yet somehow it is cheaper to buy a whole new set than the part you need to make what you have work again. It’s both frustrating and very sad.
Discretionary service charge
I ate in a fancy restaurant today where the service was slow but polite enough. When it came time for the bill there was an extra charge at the bottom labelled discretionary service charge. Cheeky I thought, but ok.
I indicated that I was ready to pay and the server brought over the wireless payment terminal and I watched out of the corner of my eye as he entered in the details nearby. A question popped up asking if I would like to accept the discretionary service charge with three buttons, Yes, No, Other. He selected Yes then handed the terminal to me.
Now he assumed that I had not seen all this but I had and I was now somewhat annoyed. In the UK a discretionary service charge is one where the choice belongs to the customer not the server to decide.
What would you do if this happened to you?
Overwhelmed
Ever get that feeling of just being overwhelmed?
There’s just too much to learn.
There’s too many jobs to do.
There’s too many people to fit into the schedule.
I can’t read everything by then.
We can’t fix everything.
There’s not enough time.
It can all be.. overwhelming.
Sometimes you just have to take a moment, think, get perspective, and work out what you can achieve in the time available. Then communicate that to whomever. Maybe yourself.
The world is full of things to learn, things to do, people to see, places to be. Time is precious; spend it wisely. Don’t get overloaded by the noise. Make wise choices and just do what you can. Choose quality over quantity, expertise over generalist, friend over networker.
Don’t let the noise drown your signal.
ADT
I learned that I was no good at sales around age 18. I was looking for work and was offered a sales job on commission with ADT, the alarm company, or at least an organisation performing door-to-door sales for them.
They started off by teaching me how to break into houses. It sounds strange but they actually did. For about 30-40 minutes in a cold hall with stale coffee we were informed about various techniques on how to break into houses. The thinking was that if we came up against stubborn home owners that said they didn’t need a home security system for whatever reason that we would be able to counter it with why they did because we knew how burglars think.
I was paired up with an older lady as my mentor. She was only a couple of years older than me and had been doing this for only a few weeks. Plus she had a car so she could drive us around to and from our sales area.
I wasn’t good at selling house alarms. My heart wasn’t in it. I figured this out fairly quickly. It all came to a head at the end of a long evening with no sign-ups when we arrived at a house with evidence of a recent break-in, namely a boarded up front door. My mentor said if we can’t sell to this home owner we should give up.
The home owner turned out to be a little old lady who had indeed been burgled recently. She had no money for an alarm. In fact she couldn’t even afford a contractor to fix her door. Her nephew had boarded up the door where a glass panel had been and had dropped off a new lock but had yet to return to fit it. Each night she would prop a dinning room chair up against the inside of the door for extra security as the door could not be locked. She would barely get any sleep each night from worrying.
Being a nice guy, she set about fixing us both a cup of tea while I got to work fitting the lock using a screwdriver set retrieved from under a sink. I left feeling good about helping someone, but with no money nor aptitude for sales, but with knowledge of how to break into houses.
Thanks ADT.
Gig economy
I’ve started watching this YouTube channel called London Eats. Not sure why. Maybe because I find it relaxing?
This guy zooming around the capital in the dark making food and parcel deliveries on his electric bikes and scooters. It got me thinking about the gig economy. How these workers don’t have a traditional employment contract, but are paid a fee per job.
After four hours of work this guy earned less than minimum wage and called it a good night. How? Less than minimum wage? Is the gig economy a way for employers to hire cheap labour? The apps these workers use must take a cut of the profits although they do offer meagre bonus payments if you work harder, faster, completing more deliveries within certain time periods.
The London Eats guy augments his meagre earnings by filming his shifts and turning them into quality viewing. He also confesses to having a day job so his shifts only need to be a few hours. He also sells swag from his channel and has sponsorship from various companies. So he’s making ‘his gig’ work. But I’m curious how others are faring from this industry, being paid per delivery.
I guess it’s nothing new. In my youth I worked for a company that paid me 1p for every flyer I delivered. If I could deliver one a minute that’s 60p an hour! Sounded great as a kid needing to augment his pocket money, but even with inflation an adult wouldn’t do it. Explains why so many of us were school age delivering those flyers. Child labour.
The gig economy is here to stay. It makes sense for the employers as it’s cheap labour. And as there appears to be no shortage of willing workers it must be profitable enough for some. Or maybe they just like working when they want to, being by themselves travelling around the city listening to their tunes going door to door, having no in-person boss.
Waiting..
Have you ever considered how much of our lives we waste just waiting? Waiting for public transport, parcel deliveries, holidays, the weekend.
Waiting, waiting.
I needed a change of scenery so I decided to take the bus into town to hang out in my favourite coffee shops reading and writing. I’m at the bus stop actually willing the bus to arrive, constantly looking down the lane for it. Why? I don’t have an urgent appointment to get to. I’m not in a rush to be anywhere in particular. Yet here I am in waiting mode. Waiting for a bus, which isn’t late.
We spend so much of our lives in queues waiting. Wasting time willing actual time to pass, not being in the moment. This is probably part of why we are stressed so much. Everything is scheduled and automated these days and yet it’s still not fast enough. Microwaves get hotter and faster yet they seem slower. How? Are we so impatient?
It’s later now and I’m in my coffee shop with fresh brew in front of me staring out the window people watching. Watching people in a rush to get somewhere, queuing waiting for a shop to open, waiting by a bus stop looking impatient. Such busy impatient lives we lead.
Ferris comes to mind and his quote about stopping and looking around once in a while. If we don’t life will pass us by while we are waiting.
The Net
Do you remember the Sandra Bullock movie The Net? I loved that movie when it first came out. Not for the storyline or because Ms Bullock was in it. I loved it because it showed me a possible career path that I didn’t know existed. One that I thought looked perfect to me.
You see Sandra’s character tested computer software for a living, all from the comfort of her own home. She didn’t have to deal with long commutes or co-workers. She worked freelance when she wanted for whomever she wanted. Free from office politics and office parties. Bliss!
I vaguely remember the rest of the movie. It was probably so-so. Not as good as Speed or Demolition Man (remember the seashells?). But I do remember it igniting the idea of becoming a freelance tester, a troubleshooter of software, and an ethical hacker.
It’s interesting where ideas can come from. A book, an overheard conversation, or a conspiracy movie from the 1990s.
Thanks for the career inspiration Ms Bullock!
Aimlessly surfing
There’s a kind of procrastination art to aimlessly surfing; surfing with no goal in mind, just following links and recommendations, seeing what interests you.
You may come across useful nuggets of wisdom, products you never knew existed, entertaining websites, or cats doing something unremarkable. I’m not sold on the cats thing.
Nostalgia trips await, as does losing hours watching fail videos or people are amazing videos. I personally prefer the latter as I like to look for the good in humanity rather than consuming entertainment at the expense of others, but that’s just me.
Maybe you are into ASMR or ambience videos? Study with Merve or walk through the streets of New York or Tokyo at night in the rain or even a thunderstorm. Maybe even walk through the slums of the Philippines with Larry PH, or drift BMWs through Berlin.
The internet is a vast place.You can get lost just aimlessly surfing. Lost in content and time.
What will you find today?