Misery loves company

We British love to moan. We assert that right as often as possible. When we are unhappy about something we want the world to know. We seek out friends that we know will listen to our woes. Misery loves company.

We share our misery. Wear it like a badge of honour. When we feel slighted, wronged, cheated in some way. Or when we seem deluged with problems, the world is out to get us. We become angry, frustrated, vexed, needing to vent. To find others of a similar countenance. Not happy with their current predicament. A friend in a dark place. An ear wishing to listen, half-heartedly in return for the same in return.

Misery loves company.

We exist between two certificates

We exist between two certificates: birth and death certificates.

It sounds morbid. An oversimplification perhaps. But still true.

We are born, which is recorded, and we die, also recorded. Two certificates between which we live. Maybe we will acquire more certificates. From 500m swimming to professional qualifications. More records of our existence, and achievements.

If our moments were never captured on paper, did we exist? Did we matter? Will we be remembered, researched, noted. Did we count?

Living between two certificates.

My top 5 books

I was recently asked what books I had found the most useful over the years, that I had gifted the most, and recommended many times. There were about 17 titles. I do like to read.

I reviewed each title with the aim of condensing the list down to a top 5. Here they are:

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

This book to me is all about adventure. It’s the book that instilled in me the desire to travel and explore the world. As a young child I would read this book every year at least once. That and R.L Stevenson’s Treasure Island. I was determined that one day I would travel the world, and I did. Every child should read about the adventures of Ratty, Mole, and Toad.

Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki

This book more than any other taught me how the world works. It showed me that no matter how many hours I worked, that I could only ever earn a finite amount of money. I learned about the magic of passive income, compounding, employee vs business owner vs investor. Every young adult should be given a copy of this book before they leave school.

Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman

It’s surprising how little time we have on this earth when we think about it. Yet we waste what time we have in silly ways. This book is a wake-up call that will jolt you into enjoying every precious moment that you have for it is not a given that there will be a tomorrow.

Money by Rob Moore

Another book that every young adult should be given before leaving school. Its contents should be taught in school so that less people get into debt or think that a credit card means you can just buy whatever you want. You will learn all about money and how it flows from you to others and how to make it work for you.

How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie

An oldie but a goodie. A set of rules entwined in a series of stories. Not just useful for making friends but also for just being a good human.

Technology frustration

I work in tech, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not susceptible to the frustration that occurs when tech fails you when you need it the most. For example, I recently found an app that helps with mindfulness and relaxation. It’s easy to use and makes certain tasks easier. Yet it just failed for no reason. Refuses to work for me yet there is no negative feedback online, the service is not reported as down, no issues reported at all. Yet it doesn’t work.

I had googled things to check, even resorted to AI with no joy. In the end the frustration it was causing defeated its purpose so I uninstalled it and found something else. Then later that same day a friend was at a fuel station and was trying to pay for the fuel he had put in his vehicle but the machine did not like his card. He only had one card. It’s the same card he always used. The assistant asked for another card. He didn’t have another.

In the UK you pay for fuel after filling up. A flawed process in my opinion because as we rely more and more on digital money we encounter situations where it can fail, like this one. If you can’t pay you will be detained and possibly arrested. You must always have the means to pay. But in a cashless society how does that work when the technology fails?Luckily my friend was only topping up and had enough cash in his vehicle so paid and was let go.

We investigated his card issue. There was nothing wrong with the card. It was a technology issue somewhere in the network between the card company and the fuel station.

Cash remains king. Always carry some! Technology frustration is a given. Always have a backup. And maybe a backup for the backup.

Bad timing of app updates

I hate apps that lose your login details on update. You know the ones. Apps for stores, coffee shops, supermarkets, and other places that offer discount vouchers and loyalty programs.

You arrived at the store and go to make your purchase and voila! The app has been updated and has lost your credentials. Please login again. Only there is no signal, or you can’t remember your credentials. They are at home on your laptop or somewhere else, but not here not now.

So no discounts for you, or loyalty points. Just pure annoyance at how technology can just fail when you need it the most. Paper coupons and loyalty cards would not fail like this. Wasn’t the whole point of switching to an app to make life easier?

There are hacks of course. Check the app works before you leave the house. Maybe even open it so its ready to go. Screenshot the coupon codes, the 3D barcodes, the offer details. Maybe your membership number or QR code too for safe measure. Oh and make sure your phone has enough charge. You didn’t want to turn up and it turns itself off just as you approach the checkout.

People are never doing what you think they are doing.

People are never doing what you think they are doing. No seriously. We get these thoughts in our heads that our friends are probably out partying this evening while we are at home sat in front of the TV. Or that our neighbours, the Jones’s, that we are – for some reason – always competing against, are working harder than us right now, making more money to buy an even better car / BBQ / lawnmower / whatever.

We think that people are living better lives than us. Doing better than us. Being better than us in some way. Why? Why do we think this way, or even think about others at all? Why not just focus on our own lives, our own achievements, how much better we are now than we were yesterday? It’s got to be a much better, a much healthier way of thinking.

The power of a linchpin

I was hired by a company because I was the only person who knew how something worked. There was no one else so I could name my price.

I’m a linchpin.

I’ve never been one before.

It feels.. good.

The company needs me more than I need them. I can’t leave or part of the business will struggle. They are flexible with my availability. They bend the rules for me. They genuinely care if I am unwell. I am needed.

I’m also a risk.

Knowledge needs to be transferred.

Linchpins cannot remain as such forever.

Enjoy it while you can.

Just turning up as opposed to booking

I hate booking in advance.

The deals are sometimes better, but not always. Don’t get me started on hidden fees and on-line booking fees. Shouldn’t it be cheaper as I’m not dealing with people?

With advanced booking you can secure your place or item, but then you have to consider changes that can occur between now and then. The weather, illness, availability, etc etc.

Booking just stresses me out. Sometimes I’ve gotten lucky and got a deal. Other times I’ve been burned, badly.

To book or not to book.

It’s like phishing scams. They use the same techniques. Seriously. Book now while there’s still time, still availability. So you book only to find there was plenty of availability all along and now tickets are half price. Dammit!

So I prefer to just turn up. To chance it. To pay the gate price, the door price, on the day. I don’t get burned. And occasionally I get a deal. 

It’s only money, mostly

Everyone has money problems. More money, more problems, right?

I tell myself it’s just a game. Life is just a game.

It will throw crap at you left, right, and center. All day long, every fricking day.

The trick is to just play the game. Earn a living, pay the bills, enjoy life as best as you are able.

I used to think that you must be able to reach a point where you have enough money not to care. To be financially secure enough that if a problem occurs, whatever it may be, that you can just pay your way through it.

But no. There are always problems that can cause stress, anxiety, even depression, no matter how much money you have.

So I continue to play the game of life and try not to stress about stuff. It’s only money. Mostly.

Virtual currency

In a supermarket seeing that wall of cards. Virtual currency. E-bucks, V-bucks, whatever. Digital credits for virtual games.

What a con.

Not only do they get your money when you buy the game, they also make you pay to live in the game world. In the real world you are also paying for the machine to run the game, and the electricity to power it. I wonder if people have actually calculated how much it actually costs them to play a game.

Me. I didn’t like to spend money on something I can’t touch. I like to hold a game cartridge or disc. I like to get something you can hold for my coin. I’m old school I guess. Kids today think it’s nothing to spend their money on virtual currency then spend it all on new clothes and accessories for their avatar while they wear old clothes in the real world.

I watch an old lady point at the wall of cards asking her daughter which one to get for her grandson. He plays Fortnite mother, she replies. The lady looks back at the cards none the wiser.