I’ve been thinking about my need for there to be a purpose.
If I can’t see how something will help me in my career or goals in life then I keep putting it off, never doing it. Why? Why not do something just for the fun of it, or because you want to? Does there need to be a reason, a purpose, a part of a bigger plan?
You can just enjoy something because it’s fun. It makes you happy. No matter how temporary. There doesn’t need to be a purpose. You don’t have to have a reason that serves something bigger. It can just be this one thing that doesn’t improve your skills, up your experience level, gain you a certificate, or earn you a reward. You can do it just because you wanted to.
You don’t always need a purpose.
Category: life
Having enough not to care
There’s something about having enough not to care.
What do I mean by that?
I mean having enough money, enough funds, that when problems occur that don’t cost enough to break the bank, your bank, that you don’t have to stress.
You can think: it’s only money. And not stress too much.
I can stress a lot about costs. Hidden charges, contractors bills, medical bills, lettings agents, bank charges, and so on. You begin to get anxious when the post arrives, or an email from that company. It may be nothing, but sometimes..
Having enough money not to care must be nice. Having just enough not to care.
Not putting the time in
There’s an old saying. Something about two voices in your head, each with different opinions on what you should be doing with your life. The one that is the loudest is the one you listen to the most. Or feed the most. I forget the exact expression.
My point is that it’s what you give your time to that grows the most. That includes your passions. Or perceived passions.
I talk a lot about what I enjoy, what I love to do. But when I think about how much time I’ve been putting in on these passions recently, I realise that it’s hardly any at all.
I have excuses, oh I can always come up with excuses. But the thing is, if I’m not putting the time in, they are not growing. And can they be true passions at all if I never do them?
It’s all about putting the time in.
Let them go
No matter how hard I try, some people won’t stay in touch.
You are best friends, colleagues, working together day after day. Having a laugh, talking about your families, interests, life. Having beers, making plans, for months, years.
Then a change occurs. Change of job, home, location. You don’t see each other that often or even at all. But you continue with the emails, texts, messages. Then they stop, fade out. No replies are forthcoming. What happened? No response.
You give it some time then try again. Nothing. Some more time. Still nothing.
Was it something you did or said? Something someone else said? You ruminate, you play out scenarios. Still nothing.
It’s sad but some connections are not forever and through no fault of your own they stop. That’s life. Save your energy for those that want to keep in touch, to be friends, to hear from you.
For the rest. Let them go.
People counting down to retirement
I’ve worked in many places and on a few occasions I’ve come across this phenomenon: people counting down to retirement.
The first time was during my university days. A neighbour gave me a lift one time as I was late for my bus. He told me how he was retiring in six months. He and his wife had been saving up for a long cruise and putting together a bucket list. About two weeks into his retirement he died of a brain aneurysm.
The second time was early on in my professional career. I met a guy who was divorced and was due to retire in two years time. He had a spreadsheet with all his plans on it. The main focus appeared to be planning a train set that would run throughout the entirety of his home. His planning was very detailed. That’s all he wanted to do after giving up work; to play with model trains all day long every day.
A year ago I was working with someone who even went as far as having a whiteboard above his desk with a large number written on it in marker pen. It was the number of working days until he retired. He would update it daily so all could see it as they walked by.
Today I find myself in a new role working alongside yet another counter. This time it’s a year and a half to go to their retirement. He’s planning everything he will do when he will no longer be working, right down to the smallest detail.
What I’ve learned from all these encounters is that these individuals do not love their work. They are always looking to the future. A future that is not guaranteed. If they get there it may not be all they imagined it would be.
If you hate your work and dream of retirement, change your work. Enjoy the present as the future is not guaranteed.
Being remembered
There is this human obsession with being remembered. Leaving a legacy behind so that you are remembered by those still living.
Why?
If you think about it, you don’t really care because you will no longer be here. It’s not as if being remembered keeps you alive in some way. A memory yes, but not one you can take part in. Yet so many of us become obsessed with leaving a legacy that will make people recall that we existed, once.
Why not just enjoy the life you have and not worry what other people think? Live your best life. Travel, have fun, meet new people, enjoy the now. Not worry about making sure people remember you when You’ve gone. Who really cares? Only you care that you existed. Those who loved you will miss you but that fades after a few generations when the stories and photos fade. Everyone is forgotten eventually.
So live your best life and Don’t worry about legacy.
Adventure is calling
Looking out to sea watching the cargo ships come and go I think back to the many ships I have sailed on. Travelling from port to port enjoying both the journey and the anticipation of the destination. With each new country came sights and sounds, places to explore, culture and communities to immerse yourself in, food and drink to savour, new people to meet.
The thrill of adventure. Never knowing what’s around the corner or over the next hill. Castles and historic houses, kingdoms of old, deserts, mountains, rivers, and beautiful beaches. Music, laughter, walks, exploring. Sleeping under the stars, swimming in lagoons, sailing through swamps and bayous.
Adventure is calling.
Extreme minimalism
I read an article about hoarding and how it can reach a point where a person’s home becomes so full of stuff that they cannot move. It’s classed as a disease.
This got me thinking about the opposite of hoarding: minimalism. The art of Reducing what you have to the minimum amount that you need. In my case this often becomes extreme minimalism.
I love tidying and organising, but sometimes it can get to a point where I am throwing away stuff that I might need in the future. I’ve even thrown, or given away items that I later regret getting shot of. Buying replacements or copies at a later date. Is this too a disease?
I hate clutter and feel the urge to tidy, to organise, to neaten and arrange. A clear area is calming. Clutter free, organised, everything in its place. Each item with a purpose, a need, a location.
Extreme minimalism.
The calming sound of the waves
I’m working by the sea again. A short walk from my desk to the beach where the waves relentlessly caress the sand, back and forth, over and over, whatever the weather. That relaxing sound that calms my mind and allows me to switch off for a while.
I’ve started setting off earlier on my daily commute so I can head to the beach. To listen to the waves against the shore, the gulls calling to each other, the smell of the sea. There’s a bench nearby under a roof. It offers respite from any wind or rain. The occasional morning jogger, fast walker, dog walker, and fisherman nod as they pass, if they notice me. I keep listening to the waves.
Ten minutes is all I need. Better than any coffee, breakfast, or shower. I’m ready to start my day with a relaxed mind. Focused. Calm.
The calming sound of the waves.
Old colleagues
I keep running into old colleagues. People I’ve worked with five, ten, twenty years ago. At events like parties, weddings, wakes, and networking. When you’ve worked all over a particular region for the best part of three decades you are bound to run into people you’ve worked with on occasion.
How are you doing, how have you been, what are you up to these days, do you remember so-and-so? The obligatory small talk questions. You are caught-up in minutes. Years refined down and summarised in a few sentences. I’m fine I’m retired I make jam and sell it outside my home. Or I’ve had some health problems but I’m fine now. I took redundancy from my last job and I’m semi-retired now doing the filming for the occasional wedding.
I was surprised by how many were retired. Many younger than me. Others had changed careers entirely following their passions, usually after receiving an early pension or large redundancy payout. After calculating how much they need to reach their pension they declare themselves semi-retired and make their hobby a part-time income source. They seemed much happier.
Others are still in the game. Their words. Rising up career ladders, making a name for themselves in their respective fields, making money and investing in property, businesses, the next big thing.
All have stories. Over a coffee or chilled glass of wine we catch up. Has it really been X years? We each throw out names of people we worked with. Names long forgotten. So-and-so left company X and is now a postman. Someone else started their own plumbing business. Another died of a heart attack. Some I remember, some I don’t. People I worked with side-by-side for days on end, for months, years.
Time moves on. We all have lives with unique paths. I received a summary, a snippet of some of those paths second-hand as I slowly drained my glass.
Old colleagues.