There is this human obsession with being remembered. Leaving a legacy behind so that you are remembered by those still living.
Why?
If you think about it, you don’t really care because you will no longer be here. It’s not as if being remembered keeps you alive in some way. A memory yes, but not one you can take part in. Yet so many of us become obsessed with leaving a legacy that will make people recall that we existed, once.
Why not just enjoy the life you have and not worry what other people think? Live your best life. Travel, have fun, meet new people, enjoy the now. Not worry about making sure people remember you when You’ve gone. Who really cares? Only you care that you existed. Those who loved you will miss you but that fades after a few generations when the stories and photos fade. Everyone is forgotten eventually.
So live your best life and Don’t worry about legacy.
Category: life
Adventure is calling
Looking out to sea watching the cargo ships come and go I think back to the many ships I have sailed on. Travelling from port to port enjoying both the journey and the anticipation of the destination. With each new country came sights and sounds, places to explore, culture and communities to immerse yourself in, food and drink to savour, new people to meet.
The thrill of adventure. Never knowing what’s around the corner or over the next hill. Castles and historic houses, kingdoms of old, deserts, mountains, rivers, and beautiful beaches. Music, laughter, walks, exploring. Sleeping under the stars, swimming in lagoons, sailing through swamps and bayous.
Adventure is calling.
Extreme minimalism
I read an article about hoarding and how it can reach a point where a person’s home becomes so full of stuff that they cannot move. It’s classed as a disease.
This got me thinking about the opposite of hoarding: minimalism. The art of Reducing what you have to the minimum amount that you need. In my case this often becomes extreme minimalism.
I love tidying and organising, but sometimes it can get to a point where I am throwing away stuff that I might need in the future. I’ve even thrown, or given away items that I later regret getting shot of. Buying replacements or copies at a later date. Is this too a disease?
I hate clutter and feel the urge to tidy, to organise, to neaten and arrange. A clear area is calming. Clutter free, organised, everything in its place. Each item with a purpose, a need, a location.
Extreme minimalism.
The calming sound of the waves
I’m working by the sea again. A short walk from my desk to the beach where the waves relentlessly caress the sand, back and forth, over and over, whatever the weather. That relaxing sound that calms my mind and allows me to switch off for a while.
I’ve started setting off earlier on my daily commute so I can head to the beach. To listen to the waves against the shore, the gulls calling to each other, the smell of the sea. There’s a bench nearby under a roof. It offers respite from any wind or rain. The occasional morning jogger, fast walker, dog walker, and fisherman nod as they pass, if they notice me. I keep listening to the waves.
Ten minutes is all I need. Better than any coffee, breakfast, or shower. I’m ready to start my day with a relaxed mind. Focused. Calm.
The calming sound of the waves.
Old colleagues
I keep running into old colleagues. People I’ve worked with five, ten, twenty years ago. At events like parties, weddings, wakes, and networking. When you’ve worked all over a particular region for the best part of three decades you are bound to run into people you’ve worked with on occasion.
How are you doing, how have you been, what are you up to these days, do you remember so-and-so? The obligatory small talk questions. You are caught-up in minutes. Years refined down and summarised in a few sentences. I’m fine I’m retired I make jam and sell it outside my home. Or I’ve had some health problems but I’m fine now. I took redundancy from my last job and I’m semi-retired now doing the filming for the occasional wedding.
I was surprised by how many were retired. Many younger than me. Others had changed careers entirely following their passions, usually after receiving an early pension or large redundancy payout. After calculating how much they need to reach their pension they declare themselves semi-retired and make their hobby a part-time income source. They seemed much happier.
Others are still in the game. Their words. Rising up career ladders, making a name for themselves in their respective fields, making money and investing in property, businesses, the next big thing.
All have stories. Over a coffee or chilled glass of wine we catch up. Has it really been X years? We each throw out names of people we worked with. Names long forgotten. So-and-so left company X and is now a postman. Someone else started their own plumbing business. Another died of a heart attack. Some I remember, some I don’t. People I worked with side-by-side for days on end, for months, years.
Time moves on. We all have lives with unique paths. I received a summary, a snippet of some of those paths second-hand as I slowly drained my glass.
Old colleagues.
I can go three days without sleep
I’ve worked some challenging jobs in my career. One such job taught me how long I can go without sleep and still function, to a point. Long hours, presentations, meetings, followed by taxi, bus, and train journeys to the next destination and hotel, then repeat. High stress and anxiety meant that with each hotel stay sleep rarely came, or when it did it wasn’t deep enough.
After the first day I can function at about 60%. After the second it’s 40%. By the morning after the third sleepless night I’m at 20%. I can function, I can get through meetings and presentations, but anything not scripted and my brain is sluggish. I Don’t drink caffeine or other stimulants so I’m running on energy and sheer willpower alone. I Don’t drive on day three. It’s too dangerous.
By the end of day three I’m a zombie and I will sleep for around 10-12 hours. The next day I’m at around 80%. It generally takes about two days to catch up and get back to normal.
This is not a long-term strategy for dealing with stressful situations. If I can, I generally avoid them. But if not I know I can function without sleep, but only for three days.
When you’re gone
I’m at a wake. We are all wearing colour. It was mandated.
We are in a large garden. There’s drink, food, laughter and sadness. People are having conversations about their lives, upcoming holidays, birthdays, parties. Living their lives.
All but one. The gone.
When you’re gone you’re gone. People may be sad for a while, you may be missed, but you’ll be gone. You are not here to see what happens next, to enjoy the food, the drink, the company. To take part in the conversations, the future plans. It’s sad but nothing is forever.
Looking around it made me think. People come and go. You can’t live in the past. You have to enjoy the here and now. Enjoy every day, the people you love, and the things that make you happy, no matter how small. Nothing lasts.
When you’re gone, your gone.
Making other people money
When it comes to making money I appear to be good at making other people money. There seems to be no end of people asking for my time and using it to make themselves money.
I’m constantly asked to lend my time and expertise to worthwhile endeavours that will help build the community. Giving talks, writing articles, judging events, hosting events, giving my time freely, only to later learn that those doing the asking are being paid or are making money on the back of my time and efforts.
So I’ve started to say no. No to giving away my time and sweat for free. I think I’ve banked enough karma to earn a break and to focus on giving time to me and mine.
For now I’m taking a break from making other people money.
Your best Me day
A Me day is a day all about you. Where you take the time to enjoy life as you do best. No work, family responsibilities, or chores. Just pure unadulterated laziness or activity that entertains you. With your favourite foods and drinks.
Now what would your best Me day look like if money was no object? What would you do if you were filthy rich and wanted a break from it all?
How about a house on a tropical island with no one around. There’s a tiki bar on the beach with self service. A pile of your favourite books on a stool by a lounge chair by the pool. A personal chef delivering whatever you want to eat by boat when you call.
Or maybe flying on a private jet to a far away country to dine at an exclusive restaurant followed by a play or movie?
Maybe a luxury cruise or train journey?
Or a remote cabin with a laptop so you can work on your writing with no interuption?
What would your best Me day look like?
A kid from the city
One of my favourite books as a kid was A kid from the city by E.M Watkins. I grew up in a concrete town and this book made me dream of a life in the countryside with nothing but rolling fields, farm animals, and plenty of fresh air.
When I was old enough I would ride my bike out of town to the nearest stretch of countryside and spend many an hour cycling down country lanes and up and down hills stopping for ice-cream or fudge at the country stores sitting by dry stone walls or winding streams.
At the end of the day I’d always have to return home, vowing that one day I would live in the countryside.
I finally achieved my dream and I now enjoy every minute of it. I still go cycling, exploring further afield taking in churches, ruins, and the odd manor house. I bought a copy of A kid from the city for my kids and read it to them but they didn’t seem to appreciate it like I did. I guess they already live in the countryside so maybe they’ll have different dreams of adventure.