I’ve worked some challenging jobs in my career. One such job taught me how long I can go without sleep and still function, to a point. Long hours, presentations, meetings, followed by taxi, bus, and train journeys to the next destination and hotel, then repeat. High stress and anxiety meant that with each hotel stay sleep rarely came, or when it did it wasn’t deep enough.
After the first day I can function at about 60%. After the second it’s 40%. By the morning after the third sleepless night I’m at 20%. I can function, I can get through meetings and presentations, but anything not scripted and my brain is sluggish. I Don’t drink caffeine or other stimulants so I’m running on energy and sheer willpower alone. I Don’t drive on day three. It’s too dangerous.
By the end of day three I’m a zombie and I will sleep for around 10-12 hours. The next day I’m at around 80%. It generally takes about two days to catch up and get back to normal.
This is not a long-term strategy for dealing with stressful situations. If I can, I generally avoid them. But if not I know I can function without sleep, but only for three days.
Category: life
When you’re gone
I’m at a wake. We are all wearing colour. It was mandated.
We are in a large garden. There’s drink, food, laughter and sadness. People are having conversations about their lives, upcoming holidays, birthdays, parties. Living their lives.
All but one. The gone.
When you’re gone you’re gone. People may be sad for a while, you may be missed, but you’ll be gone. You are not here to see what happens next, to enjoy the food, the drink, the company. To take part in the conversations, the future plans. It’s sad but nothing is forever.
Looking around it made me think. People come and go. You can’t live in the past. You have to enjoy the here and now. Enjoy every day, the people you love, and the things that make you happy, no matter how small. Nothing lasts.
When you’re gone, your gone.
Making other people money
When it comes to making money I appear to be good at making other people money. There seems to be no end of people asking for my time and using it to make themselves money.
I’m constantly asked to lend my time and expertise to worthwhile endeavours that will help build the community. Giving talks, writing articles, judging events, hosting events, giving my time freely, only to later learn that those doing the asking are being paid or are making money on the back of my time and efforts.
So I’ve started to say no. No to giving away my time and sweat for free. I think I’ve banked enough karma to earn a break and to focus on giving time to me and mine.
For now I’m taking a break from making other people money.
Your best Me day
A Me day is a day all about you. Where you take the time to enjoy life as you do best. No work, family responsibilities, or chores. Just pure unadulterated laziness or activity that entertains you. With your favourite foods and drinks.
Now what would your best Me day look like if money was no object? What would you do if you were filthy rich and wanted a break from it all?
How about a house on a tropical island with no one around. There’s a tiki bar on the beach with self service. A pile of your favourite books on a stool by a lounge chair by the pool. A personal chef delivering whatever you want to eat by boat when you call.
Or maybe flying on a private jet to a far away country to dine at an exclusive restaurant followed by a play or movie?
Maybe a luxury cruise or train journey?
Or a remote cabin with a laptop so you can work on your writing with no interuption?
What would your best Me day look like?
A kid from the city
One of my favourite books as a kid was A kid from the city by E.M Watkins. I grew up in a concrete town and this book made me dream of a life in the countryside with nothing but rolling fields, farm animals, and plenty of fresh air.
When I was old enough I would ride my bike out of town to the nearest stretch of countryside and spend many an hour cycling down country lanes and up and down hills stopping for ice-cream or fudge at the country stores sitting by dry stone walls or winding streams.
At the end of the day I’d always have to return home, vowing that one day I would live in the countryside.
I finally achieved my dream and I now enjoy every minute of it. I still go cycling, exploring further afield taking in churches, ruins, and the odd manor house. I bought a copy of A kid from the city for my kids and read it to them but they didn’t seem to appreciate it like I did. I guess they already live in the countryside so maybe they’ll have different dreams of adventure.
The subtle art of finishing
Unfinished jobs, projects, tasks on your to do lists, just sitting there like a virtual weight around your neck. Constantly reminding you that they are still there unfinished. That thing you started with zeal and enjoyment that petered out over time or was paused for some long forgotten reason.
We all have them. Unfinished furniture or classic vehicles in our garages, artwork or manuscripts in the study, or scale models and faulty electronics on the dining room table or windowsill awaiting attention.
We should all practice the subtle art of finishing. Either make time to finish the thing once and all or if we no longer want or need to, to take a leaf out of Marie Kondo’s book and just thank it for the experiences and memories and let it go. Discard it, gift it, donate it, turn it into spare parts, or even burn it.
The aim is to remove the unfinished from our life and move on with one less weight on our shoulders. Go give it a try. Finish it.
Reducing alcohol this summer
I’ve been trying to reduce the amount of alcohol I drink. With the warmer weather it’s getting harder as it’s nice to sit in your garden with a good book and a cold glass of your favourite tipple.
I tried the non-alcoholic versions of popular drinks. Most don’t taste anything like the original and contain too much sugar. You are effectively giving up one vice for another.
In theory we should all just drink water, ensuring that we consume the required three litres a day to remain healthy. But this is boring, taste wise.
My latest tactic is to have cold filtered water with ice with a little something such as a slice of lime or lemon, or even cucumber. It gives the water a little something making it slightly interesting while hydrating.
What are you drinking this summer?
The dreams you had
Reflection, nostalgia, looking back.
I recall a memory from long ago. I was travelling around New Zealand and I had made some friends, some fellow travellers. We were in a big town somewhere, a park, laying down on the grass staring up at the sky looking at the clouds. We discussed our travels, where we had been and where we were going. We discussed our futures our dreams.
Looking back you remember the dreams you had and compare them to the life you lead. Each decision takes you in a different direction. No matter how small the decision. Your life is what you make it to be.
Regrets are pointless. You can’t change the decisions you’ve already made and how you have lead your life so far. If your dreams didn’t come true then that’s ok. Make new ones. Each new day that you wake up to is full of endless possibilities. When you get older each day where you wake up is a good day. Enjoy it. Make new dreams.
Two people on a date
I’ve been out walking and found a bar that looks inviting. I order a coffee and sit by a window and unpack my gadgets with the intention of getting stuck into some writing. I take a sip of my overpriced beverage knowing what I actually paid for is a place to work for the next thirty or so minutes. The coffee being the price of admission.
I gaze at the other patrons. On the nearest table is a couple clearly out on a date. I’m not sure if it’s going well though as they are both holding their phones in front of them smiling at whatever it is they are reading or typing.
Their food arrives and they eat in silence then resume their phone use. Maybe they are not on a date but are married, or long term partners? Either way I’m bemused by the lack of conversation. They could be saving money by eating at home or in a fast food restaurant. This place isn’t exactly cheap. Yet they are willing to pay to go out somewhere expensive only to sit opposite each other staring into their mobile phones.
I continue with my writing and when I next look up their table is empty. The two possible lovers having moved on. Maybe their phone batteries died and they are now holding hands enjoying the moment as they wander the streets. Or maybe they’ve gone to find their chargers.
Clive the barman
I have this memory from my first holiday abroad. An island off the coast of Spain. On the beach was a tiki bar. A round bar with stools on the outside and Clive the barman on the inside making whatever drink you wanted.
I often think back to that bar thinking if I could just retire to a tropical island I’ll spend all my time at the tiki bar staring out at the cool blue water, over the perfect white sands, feeling the cool breeze while watching customer after customer ordering drinks with all colours of the rainbow, mini umbrellas and fruit being served by Clive the barman.