You forget that we are mortal, that our time on earth is not a given. We can all go at any time. We are lucky to have the time that we have.
And then they start dying.
Family members, both near and far, friends both close and distant. You suddenly realise that you are going to more funerals than weddings. Saying goodbyes.
But these goodbyes, though sad with sorrow, are sad for other reasons. They are going before you had a chance to say what you wanted to say, to tell them how you felt, that you appreciated the time you had, however little. To show them who you are and what you have achieved. To show them that you did it, you reached your goals, you did what you said you would.
But now it’s too late. They’re gone. There’s no do-over, no inserting another coin to continue. For them it’s over. Your interaction is no more. You cannot tell them anything.
It hits you like a wave. Not only are they gone but there is no more them. You can’t talk to them, ask them anything, getting the answers to unanswered questions. Game over. It was what it was. Their time has ended while yours continues. Your two timeline’s interactions are over. It was what it was and there is no retrospective.
If this is teaching me anything it’s that I should appreciate the time I have left and to make peace, seek closure, get answers, whatever, with those that are still here, while they are here. Eternity has no time for regrets.