Category: life

The art of complaining

There was this guy once, Michael Winner, who was a master at the art of complaining. He would not bat an eyelid at complaining to a waiter if there was something wrong with his meal. Surprising really as it’s not the British way. We just accept the mediocre service and move on. Well, in-person anyway. Online is another thing. The beauty of anonymity and all that.

The reason I started thinking about this is because I’ve received some really bad service recently. Why is that? High prices but slow service and bad quality food or products. It’s as if some businesses don’t even care. Once they have your money you can get lost. Not happy? Hard luck!

Just show the British stiff upper lip and carry on.

Not me. I’ve started complaining. I’m fully embracing my grumpy old man stage of life. If I’m not happy they will hear about it.

Not that I’m getting refunds or apologies. Nope. I need to master my technique more. Or maybe shop where people actually give a damn.

Generous car parking spaces

This annoys me so much: The size of your average car parking space in the UK.

They haven’t updated the dimensions in decades, yet cars have gotten bigger. You have to be an expert at parking to be able to fit your car in a space and be able to get out. My car is so long that the front and back overlap the white lines and the sides are in, but only just. If anyone parks next to me I can’t open the doors.

Parking spaces are worth a fortune in many towns. So owners of car parks are happy not to increase the size of the spaces, as more spaces means more money. God forbid anyone should create spaces big enough for the vehicle and so you can open all doors and the boot. The amount of times my boot opens into a hedge or I’m forced to choose which side the doors should open on.

I’ve seen SUVs park in two spaces so that the occupants can get out. People leave notes under their wipers to point out the terrible parking, but what choice do they have? Cars have gotten bigger and the places to put them have not. Move with the times you vehicle real estate moguls!

Let’s start a campaign for bigger parking spaces.

Self-fulfilling prophecy

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I hate that term, but it’s true.

Anxiety attacks. You try to avoid them but the thought of them happening only sets in motion a path that leads to their happening. Self-fulfilling.

Watching your heart rate after a workout. It’s not coming down during cooldown. So you stress about it and your heart rate increases. Self-fulfilling.

Learning to derail self-fulfilling prophecies is hard. But it’s worth it if you succeed. To control yourself, your thoughts, your mind. Tell yourself it will happen and hopefully it will be self-fulfilling.

There’s outlived and there’s out-lived

Living longer than someone is not the same as enjoying life as much as they did.

I’ve met people that say they outlived their friends by X number of years. They tell me that they ate healthy, didn’t drink, or smoke, or do drugs. They also never travelled, some never even left the country. They worked in jobs they hated, married the first person that showed an interest, if they married at all. They had no real hobbies or interests. They have no interesting stories, never left their comfort zone, never took a chance, or risks. They went for a walk every day after work and church at the weekends to make mum proud. They didn’t enjoy it but it was what you did.

I outlived my mate John by twenty years! They tell me. John was on his third wife and was the captain of the local snooker team. He was always off on a cruise or holiday somewhere. Always a smile on his face. His heart gave out in the end. Too much of a good life. Could have lived another twenty years like me they say.

There’d outlived and there’s out-lived.

On being a millionaire

It’s easier to be a millionaire these days.

With inflation a million isn’t worth what it used to be. It has less buying power in terms of a house purchase for example.

There are more millionaires around in terms of both asset value and liquidity totals. Getting to a million is just a matter of a decent salary, saving, compound interest, and avoiding as many taxes as is legally possible.

Once you are a “millionaire”, then what? It doesn’t carry the same weight as it used to. What with internet stars and influences being deca-millionaires. Being a deca-millionaire might be the new millionaire.

Still, it would be nice to have a million.

No one lives forever

The Queen song comes to mind. “Who wants to live forever?”

But no one does. Live forever that is. In another century pretty much everyone alive today will be gone, replaced by new people. A refresh of sorts. Knowledge will be passed down, by word or pen. But the minds that thought them will be gone.

We are not permanent. We are merely transitional. We are here for a brief moment in the grand scheme of things. So enjoy it while it lasts. Make the most of it. Leave no regrets. No one lives forever.

What doesn’t kill you

We tend to focus on the negative. The bad that happened to us, how we ended up in hospital, lost this or that, are not making enough money, etc etc.

We need to focus more on the positive. Sure you ended up in hospital, but thanks to modern science you are here to live another day. What doesn’t kill you, and all that. You know, it does make you stronger. If you let it.

Don’t fret about the thing that didn’t kill you, the thing that almost happened, what could happen if, what bad the future may bring. Instead focus on making yourself stronger, better, more positive. Develop a positive mental attitude. Look at the good in life, not the bad. Focus on the positive, not the negative.

You are still here so it didn’t kill you, whatever it was. Look ahead not back.

Eternity has no time for regrets

You forget that we are mortal, that our time on earth is not a given. We can all go at any time. We are lucky to have the time that we have.

And then they start dying.

Family members, both near and far, friends both close and distant. You suddenly realise that you are going to more funerals than weddings. Saying goodbyes.

But these goodbyes, though sad with sorrow, are sad for other reasons. They are going before you had a chance to say what you wanted to say, to tell them how you felt, that you appreciated the time you had, however little. To show them who you are and what you have achieved. To show them that you did it, you reached your goals, you did what you said you would.

But now it’s too late. They’re gone. There’s no do-over, no inserting another coin to continue. For them it’s over. Your interaction is no more. You cannot tell them anything.

It hits you like a wave. Not only are they gone but there is no more them. You can’t talk to them, ask them anything, getting the answers to unanswered questions. Game over. It was what it was. Their time has ended while yours continues. Your two timeline’s interactions are over. It was what it was and there is no retrospective.

If this is teaching me anything it’s that I should appreciate the time I have left and to make peace, seek closure, get answers, whatever, with those that are still here, while they are here. Eternity has no time for regrets.

A sense of achievement

I love that feeling of a sense of achievement. Feeling that you’ve accomplished something today. Even if it’s something small. A win is a win.

Some days I can’t go to sleep if I feel like I’ve not accomplished anything today. That I achieved nothing. That nothing was crossed-out on my to do list. No feeling of progress being made.

Life isn’t all about progress. Sometimes you just have to enjoy it. Take a me day. Relax, recover, enjoy.

It’s nice to feel a sense of achievement, and just getting through another day can feel like a sense of achievement in itself. Don’t make life a tick-box exercise. Crossing off items on some imaginary list so that you feel like today had purpose, that it had meaning. Just being here, showing up, living your life is enough.