Category: people

Aggressive  energy

I was watching TV and a character said to another “Do you realise that you have aggressive energy?”. I paused to reflect on this as I hadn’t heard that term before.

Aggressive energy.

It’s the perfect term for people that always seem to be on the attack. They seem to spit venom when they talk. They are always angry, aggressive, scary even. Every conversation is a confrontation, a war that they must win.

I find them draining and in my life I have learned to spot and avoid them. Where I am forced to interact with them I keep it as brief as possible. Short and to the point. In and out. No time for a skirmish. Closed questions only. Yes or no. Then move on.

I like the term though and will use it from now on.

Aggressive energy.

Eternity has no time for regrets

You forget that we are mortal, that our time on earth is not a given. We can all go at any time. We are lucky to have the time that we have.

And then they start dying.

Family members, both near and far, friends both close and distant. You suddenly realise that you are going to more funerals than weddings. Saying goodbyes.

But these goodbyes, though sad with sorrow, are sad for other reasons. They are going before you had a chance to say what you wanted to say, to tell them how you felt, that you appreciated the time you had, however little. To show them who you are and what you have achieved. To show them that you did it, you reached your goals, you did what you said you would.

But now it’s too late. They’re gone. There’s no do-over, no inserting another coin to continue. For them it’s over. Your interaction is no more. You cannot tell them anything.

It hits you like a wave. Not only are they gone but there is no more them. You can’t talk to them, ask them anything, getting the answers to unanswered questions. Game over. It was what it was. Their time has ended while yours continues. Your two timeline’s interactions are over. It was what it was and there is no retrospective.

If this is teaching me anything it’s that I should appreciate the time I have left and to make peace, seek closure, get answers, whatever, with those that are still here, while they are here. Eternity has no time for regrets.

Sitting next to a billionaire

I was sitting next to a billionaire and didn’t realise it. Someone with more money than Richard Branson. They seemed normal. I perceived them as such. Later when I was told who they were, and that they were a billionaire, I started thinking. They didn’t radiate any billionaire vibes. There was no air of achievement, aura of wealth. Nothing. They just seemed.. normal. Like every other person.

What did I expect? Something like the memes where there will be signs that you are suddenly wealthy. Designer clothes, accessories, a fancy car, etc etc. No nothing. Just a normal person enjoying the same event as me. Only much much more wealthy.

You never know. You could be sitting next to a billionaire right now and not know it.

Death notification by text

I received a notification that a relative had died. I was told by text.

I hadn’t seen or heard from them in a long while. They’d moved away, lived their life, then apparently moved back into the area we all group in at some point without telling anyone. Not a million miles away, living their life. Then diagnosed with cancer a few months back. Terminal. Still no reaching out to anyone. Until it was too late. Now their son is going through their phone book notifying people, anyone, they once knew.

I wasn’t in the phone book, so I was notified second-hand, by text. By the way X has died. A follow-on text after an initial one asking a mundane question about something unrelated. With the death notification an afterthought, or received as one.

The departed was a part of my childhood up to my teens. A long time ago. The pain isn’t as raw as it would be with someone closer or who has spent a lot of time with you recently. Yet there is still pain, of loss, of sadness.

All those years, laughs, sadness, memories, brought to an end with a simple text message.

Men in trees

I was at a low point. Unemployed, or on a break, depending on how you want to spin it. Not much to do but binge watch TV and while away the days.

I discovered one show that resonated. A person trying to find themselves, in a remote location. Plus it was entertaining. Men in trees.

It starred Anne Heche as a self help guru type whose relationship had broken down and was at a loss in life. She was on a book tour and in a remote village in Alaska when her life fell apart. She decides to stay and figure things out. I was figuring things out. I enjoyed the show. Watched every episode.

It’s one of those things that triggers memories. When I hear or read it mentioned, or Anne Heche, it reminds me of that period of my life. Good memories. So I was sad to hear when she passed. Whatever her life was, she entertained me during a low point. She cheered me up and I thank her for that. It’s sad when anyone passes, whether you know them, or they affect your own life in some distant way. But I wanted to say thanks for Men in trees.

Finding the right angle

The trick with guest speakers is finding the right angle. Working out what makes them tick. Where their true passions lie. Then work out if there is a talk there, something worth speaking about.

I’ve sat through some dull talks in my time. Delivered in a dry monotonous voice where even the speaker is at risk of falling asleep, reading from a well rehearsed script with overloaded dull slides. Nothing to grip you or to keep you in the present and out of the land of nod.

I’ve had to source speakers for events. Suggestions from friends and colleagues and the internet are useful. Most of the good speakers either cost too much or they just repeat talks they’re given many times before, and to be honest, you can probably watch for free on YouTube.

The trick is to find a new angle, a variation of the subject they are experts in. Maybe you heard about an experience they had or how they solved a particular problem. Maybe you heard about their hobbies and interests and how a particular subject complements them. Talk to them, research them, find out what makes them tick, what makes the fire behind their eyes light up. What are they passionate about? Now see if there’s a talk there, even a small one.

You want to entertain your audience, inform them, and stimulate those neurons. Find the right angle and help your speakers deliver amazing talks.

You don’t know until you ask

You don’t know until you ask. That was advice from my mother, and her mother. Yet I’m always afraid to ask. What if they say no? Well, that is always a possibility. It’s a 50-50 chance. Yes or no.

So I’ve started asking. You never know, right? And so far the odds have been good. It’s mostly a yes, or an ok if. The latter requiring something to get it to a yes. Never anything that is much effort. It’s rarely been a no.

So now I ask. Politely of course. As you never know until you ask.

Drop a pin

Drop me a pin.

A what?

A young’un asked me to drop them a pin. To let them know where I am. I should know how to do that, but I don’t.

Maybe you have to go to maps and get your current location and then share it? Seems arduous. Must be a faster way. I could ask how but then I’d have to admit to the circle of life coming true. Like me showing my dad how to program the VCR. Geez, VCRs, how old am I?

Old enough to not know how to drop a pin apparently.

My garden is me

You can tell a lot about a person from how their garden looks. If it looks unkempt, neglected, with weeds growing everywhere, it can be a sign of how they treat or view themself.

Discarded objects and general untidiness may indicate an untidy mind. Long grass, overgrown shrubs, and weeds between paving stones, could be a sign of laziness. Whereas a neatly trimmed lawn, tidy borders, and containers and hanging baskets all colour coordinated and in their place could be a sign of an organised mind, or someone with a lot of time on their hands.

You can tell a lot about a person from how their garden looks.

Conversations with the dead

Some say that it can be good therapy to have conversations with those that are no longer with us. Working out your problems talking to someone who is not there, keeping the gone close in your mind.

Or are we slightly mad to talk to someone that isn’t there? Talking to ourselves. Even if you wear headphones or hold a phone to your ear that isn’t active to disguise the madness. Are we mad?

If it helps you then I say no. You may work out problems, recall something you needed to remember, or bring some form of inner peace within yourself. After all it’s just talking. We talk all the time. To others, to electronics, to animals. What’s the harm in talking to someone that isn’t there any more?

If it helps.